Web Pentecost Mass

This year my parish is doing something different; it is broadcasting its Pentecost vigil mass on the web.  The mass will run about 3 hours and begins at 7PM (EDT) tonight, and instructions for viewing it can be seen here:  www.ctkcc.net.  

¹² “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. ¹⁴ He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. ¹⁵ All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”  (Jn 16)

He gave up this life so that the Spirit could come.

So can we.

I couldn’t begin to estimate the number of books I’ve read on the importance of prayer.  For the scientist and followers of the scientific method --- prove it and then I’ll believe it --- prayer is the link, the personal link, to the spirit world, and the antithesis of the material world.  You can’t prove via the scientific method that you are talking to God or, even if there is a “god,” that he hears you.  For the scientific method all truth is in the material world and is provable; but our faith in Jesus believes Him when He said:  When the Spirit of truth comes he will guide you into all the truth.  Pentecost was a visible proof of the existence of God, of His Spirit, and of His truth.  Many saw; many heard, and what seemed to be the words of drunkards --- they were so amazing --- were shown to be truth.  And many believed the truth.

Only a fool would refuse to believe things proven by science, even if he himself cannot do the proofs nor understand them.  Electricity, gravity, and light exist, even if I do not understand them.  Truth, beauty and love exist, even if I do not understand them.

One of the ways the Spirit comes to us is in prayer; we can invite him into our hearts.  A key point of the invitation, however, is our acceptance that perhaps, just perhaps, he will tell us the truth.  That simple openness in prayer is enough of an invite for God to begin to show us, guide us, into all truth. 

Jesus showed us so much by way of example of how we are to live this life and, as we’ve heard over and over again in the Gospels of John, He also TOLD us how to live this life:  Love one another.  But just copying that example, just hearing those words and living the example of Jesus’ life is not enough.  Anyone can ‘look’ like a good man, so that others can see him.  But God has told us that He reads our hearts, and we must not just ‘look’ like we follow Jesus, we must believe what He did and spoke.  We need the Holy Spirit, so that the “proofs” of this life can be exceeded by the “proofs” of God.    Jesus told us that is so.

He gave up this life so that the Spirit could come.  So must we.

If we want to know the real truth about the important things of this life, prayer is the start.

Where Do I Belong?

Do you notice that some people sit in the same place in church, week after week?  I myself am one of them; I feel comfortable near the back, near the statue of Mary.  Some days I am the only one seated in that section of the church, and I guess that is somewhat contrary to the community purpose of the liturgy, but still, for a reason I can’t easily define, that place feels comfortable for me.  And looking around, I see that others have found a comfortable spot also, week after week.  In some way, I guess they feel they belong in “their” spot, a tiny bit of ownership or control over their lives.

And, of course, in every church on every Sunday there are the members of the “accounting class”.  They are the LIFO members, the last-in, first-out members.  They always sit near the exits.  They account their duty done if they show up on Sunday, and they check off the box that says they are good people of faith.  I don’t wish to judge them, but I wonder if they are much different than the good people who don’t go to church every Sunday.  And there are many of those.  But all these people, and me, have one thing in common:  they are looking for a place to belong.  Belonging, fitting in somewhere, being a member--- being wanted--- is a natural human longing.  Belonging gives us stability in our life, something to hang onto when everything else seems to be rushing by all around us.  Things are rapidly changing and we can’t seem to keep up with the latest trends, the movements of our culture, our families, even our friends.  Nothing seems to be stable, except the Church, and so we grab on there, in part just to feel a level of comfort.

Change is a difficult thing to accept, and constant change almost impossible to accept.  Fear of change is partly why the battered wife stays with her husband, why the abused employee stays with the unappreciative employer, and why people hang onto old clothes, old cars, and old friends.  What is known may be bad, but what is unknown may be worse.  In one of Bill Cosby’s old comic routines he had a line:  “Never challenge worse.  Never say: ‘Things can’t get any worse.’”  Although it is a comic line, all of us can relate to the truth of it.  Today in this country we have an election coming, and I suspect that some people’s vote will be made considering those words, and the fear of the unknown.

And that, in part, is why our Catholic faith is such a challenge.  It says we are to grow in holiness, over our whole life.  It says that we were not born to be secure or safe, to belong to this family or this group of friends or job or city, or even this particular parish.  All of these things are subject to change, as we change, as we grow in holiness.  As we change --- there’s the rub: we are expected to change.  The thing we fear, we are expected to do.  The security we want in belonging, is to be traded to be a nomad in this life.  We don’t belong here, anywhere in this world.  This is only a temporary place for us; no matter how comfortable a place we find here, we can’t stay.  So looking for that comfortable spot to stay, to belong, is a futile exercise.  Although it feels good, this road we are journeying on, and there are many pleasant places along the way, we must put our eyes on the destination, and find a happiness, even now, in our expectation of getting to the end, our eternal destination.  Seeing the whole map, the picture of the entire journey, with our sights on the destination, will also give us strength to bear the problems along the way, the flat tires, the noisy kids in the car, the getting lost, and perhaps even getting robbed along the way.  At times, every long journey will seem tiresome (read what the Jews said and did in the desert), and we may want to quit.  We must never quit, and we must fight being anxious.

To find a level of contentment with this journey, we do need to understand it.  We talk of evangelizing others to understand our faith, but we need to firmly understand it ourselves.  We need to be comfortable with our faith, deep inside of us comfortable, and not just with a certain comfortable place at church to sit in each Sunday.   Evangelization starts with ourselves: reading the catechism, praying.  We need to understand our faith and the purpose of our life, the reason we journey and the destination we are going to.  We are journeying to home.  Home is not here, not anywhere on this earth. 

You aren’t where I am, rivers separate us which you must cross, jungles of confusing paths which you must navigate, to come home to Me.

Holy Communion often takes me to a different place, as does time in an adoration chapel.  Time slips away in those places.  I cry at the beauty I see and feel there.  A communion prayer I pray says:  “Stay with me, Lord,” yet in the same prayer I tell my heavenly Father: “Faith tells me I am with Him … I share in His life.”  We aren’t home yet, but that doesn’t mean we are alone for the journey.  We have a guide close at hand, if we want Him, if we would listen for Him and to Him.  We journey to be with Him, home forever, but we can be with Him even now, if we would look for Him in our lives.

It used to be that I felt compelled to plan things, now I am often content to be shown things --- and they do not always lead me in directions I had planned.  My thoughts are now directed to what He would teach me, not what I am seeking to learn.  He knows better what I need; it was a major lesson for me to accept that.  It was a major learning to KNOW in my heart where I really belong.

And our hearts are restless, until we rest in Thee.    – St. Augustine.         

Christianity is Crazy

Christianity is crazy:  it says the most important accomplishment you could ever hope to achieve with your life --- you shouldn’t plan to achieve!  It’s a gift!!

Every true Christian longs for heaven, and if we were able somehow to see that someone had failed to achieve heaven, we’d deem that person’s life a failure.  Heaven is the outcome of “a good life”, as judged by our Savior (and not our earthly standards), therefore, He can judge someone as deserving heaven even if only because of an end-of-life repentance.  We could never hope to understand such a love, or mercy.  So if we can’t see what merits heaven, it stands to reason that we can’t assume ourselves of heaven, and no matter how detailed our plans, we might ultimately fail to get there.  So … if we cannot make concrete plans, a sure-fire path to heaven, we shouldn’t strive to get there?  Yes, we should strive to get there, but no, we shouldn’t make plans to.  A man cannot “plan” to receive a gift; he can only make the giver more receptive to giving it.

If we plan to achieve heaven ourselves, we may find ourselves in the situation described at the end of Matthew (25:41), where they asked “Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison and did not minister to thee?”  In THIER plans, they looked right at Jesus, and did not see Him.  Despite their best efforts, they were deemed not good enough.  I wrote recently about the liberal and conservative confusion over the word: “our,” how one views it in terms of a group action, and the other in terms of individual actions.  Achieving heaven is somewhat similar; there is no “group-path” to heaven --- do this, say this, act like this, and you are guaranteed heaven.  Heaven is on a spiritual plane, and things our body does cannot guarantee reaching it.  It depends upon things we do, individually, with our spirit, our very being.  We can’t just outwardly show --- put on a good front of --- holiness; it must be real, in our heart. 

Long ago, I wrote a few posts about how we must “steer” our life’s vehicle, this body, staying between the lines and following all the rules, but must let Jesus sit next to us and give us directions.  He knows the way.  If we seek heaven ourselves, we are in the dark and will get lost, for as He said, He is the Way, and the Truth, and the Light --- and when He reveals it, we’ll know the way for us.  That’s the key point about this pathway to heaven for us, for each of us there is a unique way.  He has created a plan for us, specifically for us individually.  His plan, not ours.

Jesus often spoke about His Father’s kingdom, and He even taught us to pray “Thy Kingdom come.”  Cardinal Donald Wuerl, of Washington DC, in his excellent book Seek First The Kingdom, explains that His kingdom is, in fact, not only in heaven, but it is even here, now.  As the catechism notes: “The kingdom of heaven was inaugurated on earth by Christ … The Church is the seed and beginning of this kingdom.”  Cardinal Wuerl continues: “The kingdom has come in the person of Christ and grows mysteriously (spiritually) in the hearts of those incorporated into him.  Thus we learn that Christ has established his kingdom on earth, though not in the fullness of its glory.  It is here, but it is still growing.”  The heaven we long for begins in us here!

But aren’t we considered as one in the Body of Christ, therefore we should act as one in terms of “our” mission?  Yes, but only insofar as we recognize that we are all one “in spirit”.  Faith in the heart leads to justification (Rom 10:10).  I wrote on Mother’s Day of my own frustrations and worries; I’d like to plan to do more.  But I forgot Psalm 37:  Commit your life to the Lord, trust in Him and He will act.  And: Be still before the Lord and wait in patience.

Patience does not come easily to me.  Isn’t there ANYTHING I can do to prepare for His gift, to participate in His kingdom, to act as if I belong --- even if I am not fully there yet?  If I can’t make plans with a guarantee, can I make some which might help?

Recently I felt a prod to read the Gospel of John, chapters 14-17, and I have.  John, the special Gospel writer, the one loved by the Lord, the one blessed with the longest life, the only apostle not martyred, and the one given the care of His mother:  what does this special man stress in these chapters to me?  He tells me many things there that Jesus would have me do, and patiently explains in ways I can understand why I should do them --- to be more like the Father.  But there is one thing He says over and over which sums it all up.  In fact, He says it three times:  “Love one another.”  The three times Jesus asked Peter: “Do you love me,”  Peter’s three denials, the three men on the cross, and the Trinity:  the number three always seems to focus on matters of love.  And when I had personally asked Jesus a few days ago: “Do you have something you wish to tell me?” He pointed me to John and the words He wrote:  Love one another.  It’s important; very important.  Last Sunday at mass I read in John 4: This I command you, love one another.

I’ve written in the past about that desire that I have --- the desire we all have --- to make it important that we have lived, to do something important in our lives.  And I think He has shown us how to do that, emphasizing it to me personally:  Love as He has loved.  Not by my plans, not by any government actions, and not by worrying about some measurable results, just love.  That will get me on the right path. 

The early Christians stood out and were noticed by the pagans, not because of their stated beliefs or their preaching.  One of the most often quoted commentaries was “See how they love one another.”  I think that, perhaps, is why Jesus told us to be as little children.  What do little children seek?  Love.  And what is the only thing little children have to give?  Love.

I mentioned a book I am reading, Kisses From Katie.  In the chapter I read last night Katie tells about a family she met in Uganda:  nine-year-old Agnes, caring for her seven-year-old sister, Mary, and her five-year-old sister, Scovia. Agnes was injured in a storm, and so Katie took the younger ones in for lunch at her house, “Which turned into dinner.  Which turned into bath time.  Which turned into a sleepover.”  And more.  Katie continued to house them when she found that they had no living family capable of caring for them, and she worried what to do.  She felt an orphanage was “out of the question.”  The only suitable option seemed to be adoption --- by someone.

“Knowing what adoption would entail, I thought trying to accomplish it (myself) would be crazy.  I found myself desperately praying that God would show me what to do.  And that is when it happened.  Shy, five-year-old Scovia tiptoed into my room and watched me curiously for nearly ten minutes without saying a word. And then, as though she had been pondering the question for ages, she asked, “Can I call you ‘Mommy?’”  And absolutely no one would have been able to say no to those big brown eyes.  We were a family.  The answer filled up my heart and then my whole self and spilled out of my mouth as naturally, as if I had always known, “Yes, I am your Mommy.”

And so 19-year-old Katie adopted the three children, and at age 22 she now has fourteen children.  How did that come about, this seeming fit between this young woman and God’s plans for her?  I think I saw it summed up in that little question:  “Can I call you Mommy?”  It’s about love.  Katie gave love, and young Scovia needed love, and wanted to give it back.  “Can I call you Mommy?”

So, if I were wanting to live the life Jesus has planned for me, to do His will for me, what should I be doing?  From all I have seen and felt and read these last few days, I think the answer is that I should be trying to imitate young Scovia.  I should accept the love that is offered to me, even from strangers.  I shouldn’t worry about disasters that enter my life and my family’s.  I shouldn’t even worry about if I will have enough food to eat.  And I should be willing to walk through strange doors that God appears to open to me.

And perhaps I should ask Him:  “Can I call you Daddy?”

Katie concludes that chapter:  “I knew that God had brought me to Uganda not just to change my heart to Him and for the poor but to make me Mommy.  I am Mommy when I gather the girls into a large circle for a family meeting and when I watch them all run and play in the local swimming pool or picnic beside the Nile River.  I am Mommy when several voices join together at the dinner table and say, “Thank you, Mommy, for food.” … My fourteen beautiful girls call me Mommy.  Four hundred children in the community where I live who have lost their mothers to starvation or disease or something else equally unimaginable call me Mommy.  Because so many children are constantly shouting this word, even a lot of adults in the villages around our home call me Mommy.  “Mommy to many,” they say.  Dignified men, store clerks, and parking attendants call me Mommy.  Teachers and the doctors at the local hospital call me Mommy.  I hear it in shouts as I drive down these insanely bumpy red roads; it is sung as my daughters burst through the door when they get home, it is whispered in my ear as I wake up each morning.  And every time I hear it, my heart leaps.”

“I am willing to bet this is how our heavenly Father feels each time we whisper his name, each time we shout it with joy or cry out in pain, every time we tell Him exactly what we need or feel: ‘Father, I trust in you.  Father, you will protect me.  You are my comfort place, my safe place.  You are mine and I am yours and we are family.”

These things I have read in recent days, young Katie, John, Mother’s Day (and I haven’t even mentioned Guardini’s great book and thoughts), and they have opened my eyes to the important things of life:  Love one another.

Christianity is crazy.  And yet it is all so simple.  God is Love. 

Mother's Day

This mother’s day I look on these pictures of the woman I have cared for, for six years now, a tenth of my life.  My sister and I had planned for our parents care in their old age, but sis is gone.  That wasn’t in our plans.  I had no grandiose plans for my retirement, but certainly in the back of my mind I foresaw some deliberate, large-scale effort to serve God’s children, and I would have studied which ones most needed my “great” talents and focused my time and energies there --- and would have expected great results, with His blessing.  And perhaps that will yet happen --- my plans.

But for now, there are His plans.  They don’t seem as big or as important as I’m guessing my plans would have been.  The remaining years of my life are passing, one after another.  Helping many of God’s children??  I help only this one, who so needs my help. 

I saw my unformed retirement plans as making some big difference --- and in truth giving me some great satisfaction or recognition by others.  But I only serve this one woman, my mother, who on some days does not recognize me.

Is this what You would have me do, Lord?  Is this how I should use the talents You have blessed me with?  Will this yield a result of tenfold more, for the ten talents I have been given?

I do not know the answer to my prayers, but this is where He has put me, and this is what I must do with my life, for now.  For each of us, He has plans which require us to be exactly where we are at right now.  But they are His plans, not ours, so don’t worry if you cannot understand them.  He has a plan for your life, and it starts right now, right where you are at, and it is built upon all the pains and sufferings and unplanned events of your past life --- unplanned events which YOU did not plan, but He did, for His reasons.  Someday you will understand them.  Do not be anxious.  Not my will, but Thy will be done, O Lord. 

And as for my commitment I know He has given me one great promise.  And for this, and whatever else He may wish me to do, I also make one promise --- I will do it.

Honor thy father and thy mother, that you might have eternal life.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Happy Mother's day to all mothers.  You are a great blessing to us; may you also receive many blessings, especially on this day.  We will never forget you