A Hole In My Pants

I decided to take a shower yesterday afternoon, and in undressing discovered that I had a hole in the back of my pants.  I stopped and thought about my day:  the walk around the neighborhood, the stores I visited, the people who spoke to me --- were they smiling a bit, knowing something I didn’t?  But then I smiled to myself:  what did it matter?  After all, like mom always reminded me:  “make sure you have on clean underwear.”  And I knew did.

Although I quickly forgot about any possible embarrassments, that hole remained in my thoughts.  During my evening prayers I included my classroom assignment:  to pray on a particular Scripture reading, to contemplate it, and to write down my thoughts.  I’m to share them with the others at next week’s class. 

Reading and meditating on Scripture is a good thing; it’s like opening a window so that God can come in.  And as I read, contemplated --- and listened --- I did perceive some good thoughts through the words of the Scripture (and inspirations of the Spirit?).  Then my mind flittered:  was this insight something special, something I should perhaps note here, on this blog?  And I pondered on that for some minutes, seeking some insight.

And one came, but not the one I was seeking.

It came to me that when I read Scripture looking for something there, I usually find it.  And this is a good thing, a blessing for me.  (It wasn’t always this way.)  But then I realized something more profound and worth remembering, and it is this:  When I read Scripture looking for something, I usually find it, but it is when I am NOT looking that I really see.

I’ve noted before that almost all these posts are written in the Adoration chapel of a nearby church.  What perhaps I have not written often is that these words are not sought.  I have no plans to write for my blog, no topics in mind --- witness the recent scarcity of posts of late.  Tonight I asked myself, after reading and meditating on Scripture, if my thoughts were worth posting.  It was the wrong question, or better put:  it was wrong to question.  If there is something which needs to be said here, --- for you or for me --- God has shown how He helps me to perceive that, there in the chapel, in His presence.  It’s what friends do when they sit together.  They chat; they “shoot the breeze,” and sometimes --- only sometimes --- the topic under consideration gets serious.

Those serious discussions on serious topics, with serious insights, like the hole in my pants, aren’t usually planned, but we must do something when they occur.  Oh, and like wearing clean underwear, we need always be prepared for those serious discussions with God.  Clean souls --- from Confession --- have a property of also cleaning out our ears, so we can better hear Him when He speaks. 

Regular Scripture reading is a very good thing, focusing us on the Word.  But regular time in the chapel, just sitting in the presence of God, is a good thing also.  I’ve gradually grown in faith over the years; I’ve gradually lessened my anxieties.  But I’ve made leaps of faith and been washed in pools of love, just sitting there with Him.

Where He waits.